Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Babies: A Tirade

Want to know my biggest pet peeve? The one question that will literally turn my vision red and have me biting my tongue to retort a smart remark?

"Are you pregnant yet/when are you having a baby?" Here's when: IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOSH DARN BUSINESS!

[Note: I love babies. They are so cute and gushy and I just want to squeeze their little cheeks. But then I get to give them back to mommy and daddy. I will have kids someday, but not now. And I realize that no form of birth control is perfect, but knock on wood so far so good. This is also in no way a bash on women who are trying/already pregnant or who are/want to be stay at home moms. I think that has to be the hardest career out there and you truly amaze me. This is strictly my personal opinion and experiences on the subject. Now back to my rant.]

Oh I'm sorry let me get this straight. Because I've been married for two years I'm expected to be knocked up at this point and pop out a child? Oh no [waves index finger in air dramatically while shaking head.]

You know what let me tell you something. If you ask me this question, my response is going to be "I can't have children, my ovaries are bad" or "I have a hostile uterus so it's questionable if I can carry a baby at all". Is that true? Absolutely not (as far as I know). Why am I saying this? Because I want you to realize how much of an jerk you are for even asking me that question. And I want you to guilty about asking me and have to stammer your way out of it.

To me that is the rudest and most personal question that you can ask someone that is absolutely 100% NONE of your business. You have no idea what a couple is going through at any point in their relationship and to have the audacity to ask when they are having children to me is just outrageous. How do you know a couple hasn't been trying for ages and are having problems? What if he's sterile? What if she just had a miscarriage? You may be asking something so deeply hurtful and not even realize it. I sure as heck never do. I'm even timid to ask a woman who is OBVIOUSLY pregnant when she's due. If they bring it up in conversation, I'm happy to chat about it. Otherwise I'm going no where near that topic.

And how many times does Nick (aka my husband) get asked that? NEVER. It's such a sexist question. Oh I'm sorry because I'm the one to carry the baby for 9 months I have to be the one constantly questioned as to when we're having children? Last time I checked this was a two person tango and my husband is just as equal a factor as me in getting pregnant/having children. So ask him when the heck we're having children, not just me. I consider myself to be extremely lucky that neither my parents nor in-laws are bugging us for grandchildren. They realize that when we are ready we will have children.

Plus, talk about awkward. Like when people ask me that in front of my parents. Right, because they really want to think about their darling daughter being pregnant. That means they have to acknowledge how it happens which blatantly means that Nick and I have sex. *gasp* I know. Doubtful your parents want to think about that entire situation either, just saying.

So if you're wondering when we're having children, guess what, it's no time soon. I won't apologize for being a career driven women without babies on the brain and I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. Am I being selfish? Absolutely. I have too many goals to achieve and places I want to travel. Deal. With. It. Or just stop asking. It's that simple.


  1. Thanks I don't have to asi. Only kidding. Judi D

    1. Well you know I like to keep my readers informed ;)