Thursday, October 3, 2013

It's Electric

EKG - my frienemy
If you would have told me earlier this year that at age 27 I'd be dealing with a heart condition even though I'm active and overall pretty healthy, I would have laughed, told you to stop being such a worrywart, and taken another shot of vodka. In a week's time I went from trying to figure out where to put my last half marathon finisher's medal to having to make a manila folder for all my medical paperwork because it's compiling so quickly. My calendar is filling with appointments to the point that I almost had a mini-meltdown at work when it didn't load properly and I thought everything had been deleted. I already told my husband to send me back for a younger model (paging Tiger Woods, see hilarious SNL skit here, skip to 3:00 mark).

As of my doctor appointment Monday I officially have Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome, or as my brother jokes some made up condition that conveniently requires more testing. Basically the electric running from the atrium to the ventricle in my heart is working (thanks Google), but I have an extra electric pathway that shouldn't be there (does that mean I'm at a greater risk for static electricity?) It's nothing I've done, eaten, or taken;  it's just one of those 'things'. As heart issues run rampant in my family it's not completely surprising that I have a problem. My dad, who loves to remind us how he has high blood pressure, welcomed me to the D'Agostino Heart Club. I'm still waiting for my membership card.

Doctors assure me it's fixable but not before I have a series of tests done. First comes the 24 hour heart monitor next week. Apparently you can't shower until it's taken back off. Fantastic. Then I have to meet with a different heart doctor, a specialist that deals with electrical problems. What? That's not what an EP doctor stands for?! No, thanks to Jenn I now know it stands for electrophysiology because she's the smartest.  Then comes the echo stress test early next month. Joy. All I can picture is running on a treadmill and a room full of nurses staring at me as I try to not show what a terribly slow runner I am. Or trip and fall pulling what I'm imaging are about 112 different wire hookups from my body.

Finally the doctor will decide based on the test results as to whether I will be on a low dosage of medication or if I need to have a minor procedure to have the extra pathway closed (or ablated or something STOP THROWING MEDIAL TERMS AT ME LIKE I WASN'T A COMM MAJOR). Apparently for the ablation it's a cardiac catheter procedure so they make a small incision near my groin and go from there. My first thought being the logical sane ridiculous individual I am is that I need a bikini wax ASAP.

2 comments:

  1. the catherization I had two of - one a month ago and one when i was 6 months old. i wont tell you that i wasnt scared, but they dont put you under for it they just give you enough to not feel anything, so the lack of anesthesia actually was better in the end in terms of recovery and overall panic. i go to UPenn for all of this if you're still looking at doctors FYI. they were great.

    im sorry you have to go through this. if you ever need a heart-to-heart (see what i did there?) please let me know. ive had about 1000000 ekgs and echoes since i was born between the 2 heart conditions i have.

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  2. Thank you so much Christine, you're such a sweetheart (har,har, the puns are just too easy!). Seriously though, you are incredible for everything you've been dealing with these past couple months. Right now I'm at the Heart House and so far so good with my doctors. I'm just playing cards as they're dealt to me but if I need anything I will let you know, thanks again! :)

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