Saturday, November 9, 2013

Winner: Fastest Stress Test!

My 86 year old grandfather and I had a unique bonding experience earlier this week as we apparently go to the same heart practice. My stress test was Thursday so he was giving me the low down of the last time he did his stress test on a treadmill. My dad asked me twice if I'd be okay to drive myself. I told him and my mom there's no way I'm going to feel any worse after as stress test then I do after a half marathon. I was right and I didn't lose any toe nails (the two from my September half marathon are barely hanging on).

The stress echo was not bad at all. Granted this is from a girl who bikes 65 miles and runs half marathons for fun. And if they really wanted to see what my heart could do they should strap a monitor on for one of Rhonda's kettle bell classes. They'd probably have a heart attack just reading the results, amIright?!

That being said, I was the youngest person in that waiting room by at least 40-50 years. I'm pretty sure all the other patients thought I was just waiting there for someone. Imagine their surprises when they call my name as the patient. Needless to say the nurses and doctor were just not ready for this jelly.

I knew I had to be on a treadmill so as instructed I wore my usual gym attire: workout pants, running sneakers, sports bra, and t-shirt (a nice one, without holes or stains! My mom would be so proud!)

I got to the back room and my lovely nurse Jackie tells me I have to take everything off on top. EVERYTHING. No bras allowed. I have to do this test bra-less. I was thoroughly unprepared for this situation and hoping I wouldn't be leaving with a black eye.

Fine, I take off my top. At least at the GYN your mentally prepared to show your boobs to a stranger. Then she wipes me down with rubbing alcohol and gel for the nodes. My skin is ridiculously sensitive so all I'm thinking about is how splotchy I'm going to be later. She proceeds to stick a billion 8-10 different nodes on me.

I then have to put on a crop top gown, opening front, and trot to the testing room. The lights were off but the monitors in the room gave a romantic glow. She strapped a fanny pack type reader on me and connected all the nodes to wires which transmitted my heart beats to the faaaaaancy computer. The tech told me to lay on my left side with my arm up. I told her to just wake me if I fell asleep. She took an ultra sound of my heart from the top of my chest and rib cage. It was too short for a nap, I told her as much when she finished.

My nurse told me to sit up and informed me that she'd be putting another other crop top gown on with the opening in the back in order to cover me more for the testing. I asked for a tiara so it would match my lovely gown, but she laughed and said they didn't have any. I told her I want to wave to my adoring people from the treadmill and that they should have one! The blood pressure cuff just completed my attire. I spared you all photos. You're welcome.

Then the doctor came in and asked if I knew why I was here. I told him I have WPW Syndrome, and my doctor needed to see if the valve was closing. He looks at me, eyebrow raised, "Well valve doesn't sound right", and I was all, "maybe to see if the extra pathway closing?" He said that sounds correct, and I told him I sell insurance so medical terms go over my head. My nurse informed him I wanted a tiara, and he started laughing. After reading the notes, he confirmed it was the pathway closing to watch for, and he'd monitor me closely.

They said I had a great attitude as I was all smiles and jokes on the treadmill. I mean, it's not like I planned to have a heart problem, so what can I do about it other then what the doctor recommends? It's just my personality I suppose (if you don't know me, my clients constantly ask if I'm always like this or do I 10 cups of coffee a day? I don't. I'm just overly happy. Or positive. Or crazy. I don't know I haven't been officially diagnosed). They essentially offered me a job right on the spot because they loved how happy and bubbly I was, but I don't think insurance knowledge translates to whatever nuclear medicine is (unless I get to blow stuff up, then I'll make it work!)

The doctor monitoring me is a composer by night and serenaded us through the whole stress test....WHICH TOOK ALL OF 5 MINUTES. I don't mess around. After they got my heart rate up I jumped back on the table for them to ultra sound my heart again. The nurses said I was the fastest and most fun stress echo of the day. But hey, when you work with old, grumpy people who don't want to be at the doctor's in the first place, I guess I'm just a breath of fresh air.

The doc said my heart muscle looks good but he has to study the scans closer to see about the extra electrical pathway. He said I will get a full report. But while I was sitting post test and they're letting my heart rate come down, something happened on the screen that made the doctor go, "well that's interesting." Which is totally fine and nothing to worry about, right?!

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