Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2014 Let's get weird!

2013, you're on your way out the door. You've had your ups, you've had your downs, but we got THROUGH you. Everyone's making lists of what they have learned for the year which is amazing. I was able to stick to my goals and if we went though everything I learned this year I'd probably be in therapy and/or jail. But hey I survived, had heart surgery, and everything is back to 'normal'. LOLZ do you people know me?! I'm anything but normal.

So instead of my lessons, I'll share this hilarious story. My head is a fairly ridiculous place, and my imagination even more so. But I've decided that I must stop browsing the 'Celebrity" boards on Pinterest before bed because my subconscious is out of control with the dreams. My most ridiculous dream of late was had right around Thanksgiving and included Jeff Goldblum. STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME he's not the worst looking guy ever.

The dream went something like this: I was at an insurance event in which Jeff and I were making out in a corner and had planned to meet up later, because he had to leave for some reason and that's the point when I had a rational moment of WTF am I thinking?! I'm at a WORK event and everyone knows me here and they're definitely going to tell my husband. But Jeff was such a good kisser so, YOLO.

I think I was incredibly bothered by the dream because it incorporated both an actor I will never meet with my current profession in which there were people I regularly see and know. It's like hey, work associates, I don't see you enough but SO glad you're now consuming MY DREAMS (hashtag workaholic).

I spent my Thanksgiving Eve at a friends house and needless to say after a few dirty martinis my dream came up. My best friend found it ordinary because she's know me forever and she's definitely not weirded out by anything I say. 

My friend's brother picked up on this analyzation and the following conversation ensued:

E: This is the second time I've heard you mention this. You mean the guy from "The Fly"?
Me: Well, yes. But bad reference that movie is gross.
E: Okay then, what Jeff Goldblum are we talking like 90's "Jurassic Park" or "Independence Day"?
Me: Definitely "Independence Day". And he was a really great kisser
Husband: I'm not even upset. He's a good actor

So my husband approves of me making out with actors in my dreams, score. I mean I already have my hall pass set up, I'm looking at you Alex Skarsgard.

Thanksgiving morning instead of watching the parade like normal people, Nick and I put on a movie channel and wouldn't you know Jurassic Park is on TV! The first thing I say is 'Hey, I made out with him'. I really need more of a brain to mouth filter.

I then share with one of my other friends because I love to over analyze EVERYTHING and she texts me the following:

You guys, I have the bestest friends EVER. Also Jeff Goldblum, if by some strange miracle you are reading this, call me because I want to see if you're as good of a kisser in real life as my dream, and my husband is totally cool with it.

BRING IT ON 2014!! You can't even handle this weirdness! 

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