Tuesday, October 13, 2015

A Moment

All it took was two pumpkins. Two pumpkins and I had a meltdown moment last night. It was the proverbial straw. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, fake a smile and pretend that everything is sunshine and rainbows. Life seems to just be pummeling me left and right, and as much as I'm trying to ride out the waves and go with the flow, I feel like I'm struggling to keep my head above water.

It's such a stupid reason too, and my rational side knows that. My co-worker had brought us pumpkins to bring to our respective houses, and I put them on my front porch after work at 5:30 pm. My husband and I had an out of the ordinary Monday planned, and walked out the door at 6:15 pm to celebrate my best friend's 30th birthday. After a night of many stories and laughter with friends, we pulled into our driveway at 9:30 pm and the pumpkins were gone; we had driven through part of their smashed remains at the beginning of a cross street. I saw the rest of them on another road on the way to the gym this morning.

That was my catalyst. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, even with the countdown to a much needed vacation down to the teens. I'm tired of arguing and being belittled by clients. I'm tired of stressing with family issues. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of constantly running for the benefit of everyone else, and nothing for myself.

So that was it, two pumpkins stolen from my porch for me to snap. I think it's because my home is my happy place right now. We live in a really nice neighborhood; trust me when I tell you we did massive research before we bought our home. Three police officers live on our street alone, and as neighbors we all keep a look out for each other while at the same time staying out of each other's business. I've never had a problem in the three years we've lived there. Home currently is my sanctuary where I can just be with my husband and two dogs. And now someone took something from my happy place.

Could it have been worse? Absolutely! Our home wasn't broken into. Nothing was stolen. Our dogs are just fine, if just a little scared from strangers on our porch. And looking at all the lights on tonight at the houses around us, I don't believe we were the only ones with decorations missing.

So as a wise woman told me today, just let it go. I'm going to. I've replaced the pumpkins and added mums to our porch as well. I'm not going to let some little punks take away my happiness, even if it's just simple porch decoration to come home to.

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